Most people consider their home a safe place, but it is often there that violence occurs. Last year, German police registered more than 256,000 acts of violence in which the suspected perpetrators were family members, partners, or ex-partners. That is a 7% increase from the year before.
“The victims are predominantly women. And in three out of four cases, the suspects are men,” said Interior Minister Nancy Faeser at the presentation of the latest figures in Berlin on Friday.
It is particularly alarming that 155women were killed by their partners or ex-partners last year. According to the Vice President of the Federal Criminal Police Office, Martina Link, the rise is partly connected to the lockdowns of the COVID-19 pandemic and their aftermath.
No room in the women’s shelter
“I expected this increase in numbers,” said Stefanie Knaab, a 33-year-old activist who experienced four years of humiliation and sexual and physical violence at the hands of her partner. Today, she fights for other victims rights as a member of the “Gewaltfrei in die Zukunft” association (Violence-Free Into the Future).
“The numbers have been rising for years. And every year we are shocked anew, but still nothing really changes. That makes me very sick to my stomach,” Knaab told DW.
Germany is lagging behind in support for victims seeking protection. Currently, around 7,000 women and children live in women’s shelters, but an estimated 14,000 additional places are required to offer protection to all those in need.
“This is shocking and sad,” says Knaab. “It can’t go on like this. In view of the rising numbers, we absolutely need more places in women’s shelters, and more protection. If one in two women is turned away, where are they supposed to go?”
“We hear from our women’s shelters that they have to turn women away every day,” said Sibylle Schreiber, managing director of the association “Frauenhauskoordinierung” (Women’s Shelter Coordination). “Protection doesn’t come for free.”
Germany’s Family Ministry estimates that €1.6 billion ($1.73 billion), rather than the current €300 million, should be invested to effectively help the victims of domestic violence in Germany.
Enforceable right to protection
“We are actually seeing a lot of positive signals right now,” says Schreiber, referring in particular to the government’s plans to introduce a Violence Assistance Act, which stipulates that every woman who seeks protection will receive it. The draft law proposes an enforceable “right to protection and legal advice” — free of charge. This would force the federal and state governments’ hands, but currently they are still arguing about financing.
Federalism in Germany — the division of powers between the 16 state governments and the federal government — is an obstacle, explains Schreiber. “It can happen that a woman can’t stay in Berlin, for example, because her abusive partner could quickly find her. Then she simply has to move further away, to another state. And then there may be problems as to who pays what.”
The draft law would guarantee that “persons affected by violence can turn to any institution regardless of where they live.”
Schreiber, Knaab and many other women’s activists are keen to see the draft law come into effect soon. They would also like to see a comprehensive strategy against domestic violence, as outlined in the Istanbul Conventionagainst violence against women, which Germany has also signed.
Germany could also learn from the experiences of other countries, says Knaab. “Spain is a global pioneer in the fight against gender-based violence in partnerships.” In 2004, a law was passed there to ensure that “in every town, no matter how small, there is a counseling center, there is a women’s shelter. There are special police units and special courts that are sensitized.”
“We need to eliminate misogynistic narratives, and we need to do so fundamentally,” says therapist Christina Diamantis, who works with people who have suffered in toxic relationships and from domestic abuse. She says often victims are dismissed as “the hysterical woman,” whose accounts no one believes and who is then labeled as mentally ill.
Diamantis is also a victim of violence. “I was raped, I was isolated, I was financially exploited, I was psychologically beaten down. Devaluation, humiliation, abuse — every day,” she recalls. Seven years ago, she managed to break out. Since then, she has been counseling women with similar experiences.
“Toxic relationships, or relationships in which violence predominates and which also end in violence — in the worst case, femicide — usually follow the same script,” says Diamantis. “It begins with the so-called ‘love-bombing phase’ in which the woman is showered with attention and love. Only then gradually and subtly does the abuse and violence begin. This is often followed by a separation, after which the woman is wooed again and drawn back into the relationship. This is the common thread running through the stories of the hundreds, perhaps thousands of women I have worked with,” says Diamantis.
Breaking out via app
“My story was the same as that of many other victims,” confirms Stefanie Knaab. “Violence doesn’t occur 365 days a year. There are different phases. Sometimes the perpetrator is totally loving and caring, and then the next day he’s not.” Back then, she started writing letters to herself in which she documented the violence. “At one point I read through these letters and realized that there was a pattern and that I had to get out.”
Today, Knaab wants to help people who are trapped in violent relationships, and has launched an app that allows women to use it as a diary to document assaults on their smartphone in a way that will stand up as evidence in court. The app also contains contact details for places to find help.
The app is currently available to women in Berlin and Lower Saxony. Other states are to follow. This is one of the initiatives aimed at stopping the number of incidents of domestic violence from continuing to rise in Germany.
This article was originally written in German.
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